First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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