im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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