I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
bring money and cleavage
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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