Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
