I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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