This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she looked like the before picture.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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