Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
