Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
