Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
