thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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