just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
