he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
