no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
