I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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