Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
