____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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