Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize