nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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