i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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