after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
