Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
