I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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