Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
