It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
