Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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