Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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