My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
