and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
