looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
