I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
