this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
tonight lets celebrate not being married
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
tell me about the fingering
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