have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
