wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
