I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
