If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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