At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
