I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
