There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
