So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
