all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
