She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Terrible idea I love it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
