Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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