So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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