yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
