This is not my ceiling
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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