Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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