i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's just like the Real World with babies
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
