I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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