I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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