i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
