I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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