i permit you to call me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
